March 28, 2008
Ryan Braun will edge out Prince Fielder for MVP. (of the team)
Ben Sheets will not have a season ending injury. (Although, he will be diagnosed with chronic gingivitus and be so humiliated he'll missing a start.)
Ned Yost will be fired as head coach following a typical post-all-star-break swoon. Ted Simmons will take over the reins and lead the team to the playoffs. (See 1982)
After a slow spring Prince will find those meat buffet coupons I sent him and will regain his awesome power stroke. (Thank you for your sponsorship Ponderosa.)
Mark Attanasio will decide that Milwaukee has gone far too long without a huge beer mug for Bernie Brewer to slide into after home runs. (Finally the ridiculous "Platform of Celebration!" can be put to rest.)
Manny Parra will win NL Rookie of the Year. (If he's not sent back to AAA first.)
The Cubs franchise will fold after they finish in last place in the NL Central division. After fans boycott the final month of the season they will move to Las Vegas. Wrigley field will be demolished and the real estate will become a mixed-use area. Possibly low rent housing and a leather tannery? (A man can have dreams, can't he?)
*I just wantid to right a quick note about some splelling errers in prevous posts. My mom was very uspset. So Im sorry, but splelcheck doesent werk on this site.
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